


Human

by Hopefulwriter



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Android Sean, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 21:49:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19028614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopefulwriter/pseuds/Hopefulwriter
Summary: Felix thought it would be something good for him. Something to quell the loneliness that eats at him sometimes, because he may like his own company but when your only companions are two pugs and a video camera how could you blame him for feeling a bit lonely?





	Human

**Author's Note:**

> Ive been meaning to write an Android thing for these two for a while now, and of course i have to make it as angsty as possible. Kinda inspired partly from Human by Daniella Mason, which is a really great song btw.
> 
>  
> 
> And i hope you like it and let me know what you think!

~

 

Felix thought it would be something good for him. Something to quell the loneliness that eats at him sometimes, because he may like his own company but when your only companions are two pugs and a video camera how could you blame him for feeling a bit lonely? High-tech Androids had been rolled off the production line a couple years ago, instantly becoming one of the most desired commodities of the late twenty-first century, a great babysitter, companion or anything the buyer desires. Felix had decided to buy a used model, still as high tech as the most recent, but he's never been one to cash out on the newest corporate offering. 

It's just not his style to take the easy route when a different model could be just as good. You may call him a cheapskate, but he just doesn't like hopping on the bandwagon with the newest, ‘best’ and most talked about product. And he likes the thought of taking care of something which otherwise would have been forgotten about, because they might just be a robot to some people but he just doesn't like imagining what their fate may have been if he hadn’t bought them.

He remembers that he asked to be surprised in terms of look and gender for the Android, so he's still in the dark up until he arrives home from getting groceries to a huge box sat outside his door. He leans over it to unlock his door, then squeezes inside to the skittering of tiny pug nails on the linoleum, the two dogs prancing around him as he shuts the door behind him and goes to leave the bags on the kitchen counter. 

He comes back to the box a short while later, armed with a pair of scissors and his average arm strength ready to lift the box in. Its too heavy to lift he finds out after fruitlessly trying to heft it into his arms, and a bit too awkward to hold even if he could, just a bit too big. it makes him wonder what sumo wrestler is encased in the cardboard to warrant it being so large. He settles with sliding it across the floor, the pugs probably judging him from their cautious distance, not trusting this new, brown intruder. He sighs as he closes the door, the box settled and with the dogs checking it out, and he takes the scissors from their place in his pocket and begins opening it, ripping the blue company branded tape. He lifts the flaps and comes face to face with the Android inside for the first time, its face visible even with the shadows cast upon its pale surface. He can tell that he's been sent a male model by the shaggy dark brown beard, though his face is softer than he would’ve thought they would make, but he thinks it suits the Android.

His form is lax as Felix lifts him out of the box, and with the not-at-all-helpful morbidity his mind likens it to holding a dead body. He shakes that thought off quickly in favour of setting the other onto his couch, sitting him upright as best as he can. 

After searching for the on button he has to take a careful retreat to the manual, not wanting to break the poor Android by his poking around before he even turns him on. He blanches however when he finds out that said button is on the belly, the belly button specifically, and he almost groans thinking of how proud the makers must be of that one. He steels himself as he approaches the Android once more, crouching down to his level before gingerly lifting the others shirt and gently pressing the button almost as soon as it's in sight. He hears a whir as the Android comes to life for the first time, and he almost feels the need to stand back to watch as the others eyes seem to glow, the blue of them lit up, then his form gains some tension, his fingers twitching. Felix watches, almost amazed at the marvel before him, and his eyes flick up to meet the others once more.

Only to find them already trained on him, the glow lingering before he blinks it away. Felix gulps, not at all used to being in anywhere near this situation, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden at the others gaze. It's then that he realises he’s just a bit too close for comfort, still crouched as he is, and he rights himself, stepping out of the Androids personal space, giving him a smile he really hopes comes across as friendly. 

The other only blinks at him, not seeming all that worried about the actions of the human in front of him, just taking him in for a second before he asks, “who are you?” Theres an accent to his tone, crisp and Irish. 

Felix frowns, thinking the company he got the Android from would’ve filled him in on that information, but regains his composure nonetheless. “I’m Felix, you're my new uh,” he doesn't quite want to make the wrong first impression by calling him the wrong thing, so he just settles with, “roommate.” 

The Android seems to contemplate that for a second before seeming appeased. “What do you want me to do?” 

Felix is slightly thrown at that, having not even been able to know the man's name yet. “You don't need to do anything, just get to know the place a bit i s’pose. I don't even know your name.”

“You can call me whatever you want.”

“But what would you want to be called if you were to choose?” 

“I- have never been asked before, but i do like the name Sean.”

Felix smiles crookedly. “Sean it is then.”

They fall into a comfortable routine, —more natural than Felix thought it would be so quick after Sean was first introduced— the Android bustling about the place while he records, the place always clean and the smell of something lovely in the oven when he comes out at the end of the day. 

Even with their first encounter Felix actually enjoys Jacks company, though it took a bit of time for the Android to let loose in his presence for the first while, but Felix wasn’t worried about it too much. It seemed that the pugs shared the same sentiment as they both took to Sean like a house on fire, leaving their owner wondering what roboty witchcraft spell Sean had them under. He always finds them on Sean's lap or laying next to him, and he definitely deems it witchcraft after they start sleeping in Sean's room most nights over his, waking up to find his bed empty, and he sticks to his theory after that, declaring the dogs love some magical robot thing that he is not privy to, though he knows it isn't true.

Unbeknownst to Felix Sean is mixing up more than dog magic, instead it’s a swirling in his gut every time he thinks of the human, a force he isn't able to control. It's bad enough with thoughts, let alone actually being in his presence, when the swirling turns into a whirlwind. Felix is just so nice, unashamedly so, and so welcoming in allowing him into his home, when he could’ve chosen a better model instead of him. Even when he accidentally dropped that plate one time, Felix had just joked that he'd never known a robot to be clumsy as he helped clean the floor of the broken porcelain, Sean apologising at every chance he got. It's not just that either, Felix is just- he's lovely, just in general, and Sean doesn't quite know why he doesn't have a partner, but he selfishly isn't complaining. 

He doesn't want to tell Felix about how he feels, he doesnt think he has the metaphorical guts for it, not able to envision it going well even if he does. He's scared he could be sent back if he does. He wants to believe that the human wouldn't do such a thing, but he doesn't doubt that it could be a possibility. 

He likes where he is too much, and he doesn't want to be switched off never to see Felix again, the thought sends him almost shaking in his boots, so scared that he might be melted down, his memory chip broken and all of the memories of Felix and Edgar and Maya gone along with it.

And even if he isn't scared of his fate he just doesn't want to do it to the man, he's too good to deserve an old, beat-up, out-of-date model like him, he deserves only the most perfect human, or the best Android in the world, and if his silence gives Felix a chance to find someone then that's the price he's going to have to live with. He just hopes the happiness of seeing Felix with a deserving partner will suffice, though he isn't too sure it will.

It happens over time, and though Felix is loathe to leave Sean on his own at first he starts to go on occasional dates. The Android trying his best to put on his biggest smile when Felix announces his plans, then acting excited as he goes to get Felix's nicest clothes, things that Sean thinks looks good on him. And it feels like a monster is clawing at his stomach when he thinks that he could be the one going on this date, seeing Felix in these clothes, with the smell of his nice cologne filling his scent receptors. But he just puts on a brave face as he sets the clothes out on the bed, making sure there aren’t any creases in sight, before leaving to busy himself so he can ready himself to watch Felix walk out of the door to meet someone else. 

Even though the routine stays the same things can’t feel any more different, he still cooks, cleans and looks after things but he can’t help but feel inadequate somehow, like he’s just a placeholder for someone else. He doubts Felix would think that, but in the situation that he’s in he can't be too careful, he just hopes that he gets to experience life with Felix for a while before that could happen.

One day he just can't take it anymore. Felix had come home late from a date, missing dinner entirely and worrying Sean to no end. So Sean sat on the couch, a long-cold plate of food on the counter when Felix had finally walked in, toeing off his shoes and hanging up his jacket as normal, as though there's nothing in the world that could be wrong. And Sean has a mix of angry, worried, relieved, swirling in his belly, and he can't do anything other than let it all out. He stands, his nostrils flared as he goes over to the kitchen to dispose of the wasted food, scraping it off into the garbage in the most frustrated way he could manage, then dumps it into the sink to be cleaned. He hears Felix's footsteps pad into the space, then stop behind him. “Oh shit, sorry i missed dinner, time just-“

And that is the moment Sean bursts. “Time just what? You were too preoccupied to even get home for dinner?” He grits out.

Felix seems taken aback. “I- i didn't realise what the time was, I’m really sorry.”

Sean scrubs away at nonexistent food left on the plate, taking his anger out on the poor, defenceless porcelain. “Sorry isn't enough sometimes, i was worried about you, i thought something happened,” He chokes out past the growing pool of tears in his eyes. “I bet you just didn't think of anything like that huh? That I’m here all day, it's all I’m for, really, to keep you safe, and you didn’t think, you never do when you have a date.”

Felix must be so bewildered by this sudden burst of emotion, but it's only a taste of what Sean goes through every day. At the silence Sean turns, his jaw hard, and his simulated heartbeat thumping in his ears. Felix looks at a loss for how to control this spiralling situation and for what to say, and Sean doesn't think anything he could possibly say would help, no matter how much he loves this man he just can't take it anymore, he’s sick of it all. “I- i may be just parts and wires to you but i care, more than you could ever realise, you're all i have and i constantly feel like I’m on the edge of losing you, for one of these dates, and I’m sure they're great people but i just can't take it.”

Felix just gapes, his words faltering, so he just settles with, “I’m sorry.”

The tears in Seans eyes overflow. “I’m sorry too. I didn't wanna feel like this, i wish i was emotionless, i wish they never gave me any,” he pauses, debating what to say next, before he chokes out, “then maybe i wouldn't love you, i could just do chores while you've got the chance to have whatever girlfriend or boyfriend you want.”

Felix looks shell shocked, like he could have envisioned any other outcome from this conversation other than that, and Sean now wishes he would never have said anything, just wanting to retreat back into his room in self loathing. “I didn’t think- no, you can't feel that way, i- you're confused, you can't-“

Sean didn't think he'd have to deal with denial in such a way, he honestly now hopes he would have received a simple ‘no,’ opposed to Felix thinking he has his metaphorical wires crossed. Instead of what Sean wants to say all that comes from him is a nod, and the action physically hurts, more than he expected, and he keeps his eyes downcast, not having the strength to look the other in the eye. 

He slips past Felix and briskly walks to his room, the dogs following closely on his heels, leaving Felix to stand alone in the kitchen, feeling guilty, like he’s somehow just made the worst decision of his life. 

Sean feels ‘heartbroken,’ because even though the place where a humans would be is filled with parts and wires he honestly can't tell the difference, it hurts just the same. He thinks he might be faulty, as he had no idea he was even capable of feeling such profound pain, but he's not surprised by much now, too numb inside and only the affection of the dogs at his side able to ground him somewhat. He still cries, the tears flowing freely in the sanctuary of his room, trying to keep his sobs to a minimum, not wanting to alert Felix. He doesn't even know whether he would come now, not sure if the other would even be concerned after what he'd said. 

He doesnt quite remember crying himself to sleep, but he must have, as the next morning he wakes to the feeling of dried artificial tears on his face, his eyes sore somehow and the light filtering through the open blinds not helping one bit. He must have forgotten to shut them, but he honestly had a lot more important things to be doing. Wallowing, he thinks, but that doesn't even cover how he feels, and his mind flashes to thoughts of stereotypical rom-com breakups where the women sob over tubs of ice-cream. But this isn't a breakup and even if it was he knows there's no ice-cream in the freezer.

Felix didn't know how he'd managed to go so wrong. He hadn't meant the words to come out so harsh, but in the moment he had been... Shocked, to say the least. The night before he hadn’t been able to sleep, too much on his mind to allow him even a moment of rest, making him tired, not even able to feel hungry past the pit in his stomach.

Sean peels himself away from his bed as late as he can get away with, he can hear Felix shuffling around the rest of the flat, so he knows he has to get out of bed, no matter how much he never wants to leave it again. 

Felix wants to take his mind off of things, but at the same time atone in some way for what he said, so the best way he can think to do that is by cooking them breakfast. It won’t nearly make up for everything but it may just be the peace offering he needs to get Sean to give him a chance. 

He lays out a banquet of breakfast foods, bacon, eggs, the works. It's not as nice as when Sean makes it but it's the best he can do. 

Sean comes out to the smell of the freshly cooked food, and he doesn't blame the pugs for leaving him in favour of it. Felix is just plating up when he tentatively walks into the kitchen, so scared that Felix may turn him away. The man instead gives him a careful smile, sliding the plate of food and the accompanying cutlery across the counter to him. Sean takes it, not having an ability to feel hunger yet feeling starving like never before. 

He awkwardly walks over to the couch, perching on the far end of it and gingerly tucking in, the food delicious yet wanting to retreat back to his room as soon as possible. Because he’s not stupid, he can tell that Felix is only doing this to make up for what he said, but Sean isn't going to forget it, and he knows this is only a temporary thing before Felix goes and walks out the door again.

Felix comes and sits at the far end of the couch with him a few minutes later, keeping the silence other than the sound of cutlery on the plates. “Nice?” Felix asks quietly.

Sean shrugs, and that's the end of the conversation, because as soon as he's finished he flees to his room, not coming out for the rest of the day, not even to make dinner and Felix doesn’t think he could eat it even if it was set in front of him.

It goes like that for the next few days, with barely any talk between them. Felix is almost scared that the other might’ve reset himself. But he knows that can't be true by the strange blankness that had settled over the Android, the only emotion being when he thinks Felix isn't watching, the deep sadness in his eyes when he looks at the human making Felix's heart clench.

The silence has given Felix time to think between recording, especially with how little he's been sleeping lately. Just evaluating things, mostly about the argument and the things that caused it, his serial dating being the crux of the problem. He knows how many dates he had been on since Sean came, and he realised that the reason why is that he doesn't feel fulfilled with any of the people, and while he's sure they're great he just can't see anything with them past polite smalltalk. He's listening to some music one day when he realises what that really means, and while the music doesn't have a particular mood it just feels… homey, cosy, and it reminds him of Sean, of how much he’s positively impacted his life in the time they’ve known each other, his life changed for the better. And now he doesn't even know how he can tell Sean that.

It takes a while, but Felix finally gains the confidence to talk to the other. He does it while Sean is in his room, giving him no chance to run from what Felix feels he needs to say. Sean doesn't acknowledge him as he walks into the room, pitching a chair near the Androids bed. Only when Sean seems to realise he isn't leaving does he look at Felix, a blank look only shadowed by the doubt that is surely in his eyes. “What’s up?” Sean asks, trying for some form of casual though his heart isn't really in it.

“I've been doing some soul searching recently,” Felix starts, wanting to just lay it out there before he can somehow change his mind. 

“And what does this have to do with me?” 

“Quite a lot actually, i realised something, a big something, and i thought you might wanna know about it,” the human goes on. “First off i wanna apologise about how i handled your confession, it must’ve been hard to tell me and for me to do what i did… I’m just sorry, i hope you could forgive me someday.”

“I already have, i shouldn’t have expected anything else, it was a lot to land on you like that,” Sean says quietly.

“I didn't exactly handle it the best though,” Felix says pointedly. “And that brings me to the last point, and i don't even know how i didn’t realise sooner, but i- it finally clicked a few weeks ago, that i- fuck, why is this so hard to say?”

Seans brows furrow, wondering what Felix, normally so free flowing in his words, would be nervous of all things, and it makes the nerves swirl in his belly. “Just- take your time.”

Felix huffs. “It shouldn’t have taken me this long to say this, but i- i feel the same, and it kinda scares me how right it feels, but i don't care.”

Sean feels happier than even he has words to describe yet filled with shock from the admission. But when he turns to Felix the other has his head hung, hands clasped together, and Sean slips his hand over Felix's slightly clammy ones, his fingers curling around the man's knuckles. He hopes that the bright smile Felix gives him will have many more to come, and he's going to be there to see all of them. 

 

~

**Author's Note:**

> And thats it! Kudos and comments are always appreciated and come see me over on my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Hopefulwriter_)
> 
> I hope you have an awesome day/night!


End file.
